Hi all,
Study hard for ur EOYs! Make use of the DMP time........ Have fun! And stay injury free! Smile!
See y'all
Summary of events this week
Well let me talk about my Physio with Dr Steiner. Was fun........... He practically jerked me out of the bed! He's friendly too........ Though he charges a lot.........His skill is good though.........And I can understand his slang at times. he's a swiss.
Was hit by a medicine ball during training on Monday.............. The nose hurts......... recovered yesterday........... Need to be careful! PS: Huang Jie, its ok, I know you didn't do it on purpose.
Today so sad, Mr. Lim says that I'm limping. Did I? So instead of running 12k, only ran 8k. Humph! But had fun playing basketball. Played with a few other people........ They called me the 'dangerous boy' cos I was really damned pro....... Lols.
My table tennis improved too! So happy to beat Matthew (Lee, not Matthew Lo the happy feet) 18-16, 11-7! Yeah! Funny thing. I beat Matthew then Matthew beat Dewin the Mr. Kek. And yet I lost to Dewin. Lols.
Oh ya, Ben's damn pro. Yesterday, He swam for ACE Swim Club 2 hours, then Wushu, then today morning ran 12k in 54mins! And in the heavy rain! Pro.......... I wanna be like him. Anyway, was glad that I did go for long run today. I insisted on going, my parents no choice. Poor mummy, need to wash muddy clothes and shoes! Sorry but I really like to run..............
Oh yes, didn't collect KPE Race Pack. I need to study plus today already ran. Maybe going to sign up New Balance Real Run...........
OK, now I will mug, but not forgetting play. After EOYs, I will learn tennis, swim GoldStar and maybe learn a slightly slack sport. Maybe table tennis!
happie =)
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Yet another joke
During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks."The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first." The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender can't believe what he's seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender. "I'm a professional gambler," replied the man.The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?""Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy."Like what?" asked the bartender."Well, for example, I'll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye," he said.The bartender thought about it. "Okay," he said.So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. "Aw, you screwed me," said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50."I'll give you another chance. I'll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye," said the stranger.The bartender thought again and said, "Well, I know you're not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I'll take that bet." So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye."Aw, you screwed me again!" protested the bartender."That's how I win so much money, bartender.I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars," said the man.With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, "Bartender, I'll give you one last chance. I'll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop."The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn't even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. "Okay, you're on," he said.The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whiskey bottle.The bartender was ecstatic. Laughiing, the bartender said, "Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!"The guy climbed down off the bar and said, "That's okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!"
Jokes to relax while you mug for EOYs
Asking Mommy
Little Johnny and her mother were out and about. Little Johnny, out of the blue, asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?" The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older.Little Johnny then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?" Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this too, as you grow up."Little Johnny still wanting to know about her mother, then fires off another question, "Mommy, Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"The mother, annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now."The Little Johnny , frustrated, sulks until he is dropped off at a friend's house to play. He consults with his friend about him and her mother's conversation. His friend says, "All you have to do is sneak and look at your mother's driver's license. It's just like a report card from school. It tells you everything."Later, the Little Johnny and her mother are out and about again. The Little Johnny starts off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are, You're 32 years old."The mother is very shocked. She asks, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?"The Little Johnny shrugs and says, "I just know. And I know how much you weight. You weight 130 pounds.""Where did you learn that?", said the mother again.The Little Johnny says, "I just know. And I know why you and daddy got a divorce. You got an "F" in sex."
Going To The Toilet
During a good manners and etiquette class being held for young children, the teacher says to her students:"You are courting a well-mannered young girl from a prominent family. During a dinner , you needed to go to the toilet, what will you say to her?"Mike replies: "Wait a second, I'm going for a piss."The teacher says: "That would be very rude and improper on your part."Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute."The teacher says: "That's much better but to mention the word ''toilet'' during a meal, is unpleasant."And Little Johnny says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope to be able to introduce to you after dinner. "
Buying a Horse
Lil' Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horses' legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Pop, why are you doing that?""Because I'm thinking of buying these horses."Johnny looked worried, "Then I think we'd better hurry home right away!""Why?" his father asked."Because the FedEx man stopped by yesterday, and I think he wants to buy Mom!" (I like this best....... The FedEx man ahem with Lil' Johnny's mum.....)
Plane Conversation
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?""Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?""OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?""Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea.""Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"
Little Johnny and her mother were out and about. Little Johnny, out of the blue, asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?" The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older.Little Johnny then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?" Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this too, as you grow up."Little Johnny still wanting to know about her mother, then fires off another question, "Mommy, Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"The mother, annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now."The Little Johnny , frustrated, sulks until he is dropped off at a friend's house to play. He consults with his friend about him and her mother's conversation. His friend says, "All you have to do is sneak and look at your mother's driver's license. It's just like a report card from school. It tells you everything."Later, the Little Johnny and her mother are out and about again. The Little Johnny starts off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are, You're 32 years old."The mother is very shocked. She asks, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?"The Little Johnny shrugs and says, "I just know. And I know how much you weight. You weight 130 pounds.""Where did you learn that?", said the mother again.The Little Johnny says, "I just know. And I know why you and daddy got a divorce. You got an "F" in sex."
Going To The Toilet
During a good manners and etiquette class being held for young children, the teacher says to her students:"You are courting a well-mannered young girl from a prominent family. During a dinner , you needed to go to the toilet, what will you say to her?"Mike replies: "Wait a second, I'm going for a piss."The teacher says: "That would be very rude and improper on your part."Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute."The teacher says: "That's much better but to mention the word ''toilet'' during a meal, is unpleasant."And Little Johnny says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope to be able to introduce to you after dinner. "
Buying a Horse
Lil' Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horses' legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Pop, why are you doing that?""Because I'm thinking of buying these horses."Johnny looked worried, "Then I think we'd better hurry home right away!""Why?" his father asked."Because the FedEx man stopped by yesterday, and I think he wants to buy Mom!" (I like this best....... The FedEx man ahem with Lil' Johnny's mum.....)
Plane Conversation
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?""Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?""OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?""Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea.""Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"
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